Nothing really to tell you about today baby.
The small neonatal nasal cannulas arrived for you. No more suffocating you. You seem to be doing fine.
You’re weight has gone down so they are keeping an eye on it. You’ve gone from 7lb 12 down to 7lb 9.
Will see you tomorrow baby. Love you lots. Keep doing well so you can come home please ❤️
3lb!!!
You’re putting on the beef wee baby 😊
Keep it up!
Mummy and daddy are so happy for you.
The Drs were planning to take you off the ventilator slowly today. So they started reducing your oxygen and weened you off the morphine but you started fighting against the ventilator so they had to do it much quicker than they planned. You really are strong, kid.
You were crying so much tonight. It’s good you have that much energy but it’s still completely heartbreaking. I couldn’t tell what was upsetting you but I just pray that it was not pain you were feeling from having no morphine.
Love you so much Olivia.
Olivia you are surely going to give me a heart attack or something with all these ups and downs!
You are looking much better today. Your infection indicators are decreasing so they have started you back in some milk. 1ml an hour to see how you cope. If the NEC is improving you should be able to tolerate the feeds so I have everything crossed that you will be okay.
Oxygen requirements have decreased and you’re doing a lot of the breathing on your own. Please keep it up baby you are doing so well. Everyone is thinking of you and praying.
I’m having one of those days where I cannot stop crying. I feel like my heart is literally breaking. Why couldn’t things just be different? I don’t have the strength for this. I’m trying so hard to be strong for you and you don’t know it but believe me I’m trying.
Your tummy has expanded again by 2cm 😞 I hope this doesn’t mean the antibiotics have stopped working. Another X-ray was completed today and not much has changed. They are seeing patches on your lungs that could be another infection. Just f***** great. They had to increase your oxygen quite a bit today as you were struggling. You got another blood transfusion to see if that helps you along.
You opened your eyes for the first time that I’ve seen since Friday. Wide open and looking about everywhere. My heart just sank to my stomach. I pray that you are not in pain Olivia. I would do anything to take it away from you.
Had my counselling appointment today. Still don’t know what I expect from them. Just another reason for me to cry and get upset. Please keep fighting Olivia. Mummy and daddy need you.
Hi baby.
You were pretty stable over last night and this morning so the nurse tells us.
We came to see you this evening and your stats were all over the place. Definable not so stable. You have put on a tiny bit of weight despite not having any food. 2lb 13oz. We will get there.
They completed another X-ray of your tummy and it looks a wee bit better. I can’t get my hopes up. As much as I want to.
I’m so tired of this. All I want is for you to get better. I want to be able to smile and mean it.
Day 40. Can you believe it?
Time is going in so quickly and it scares me. I just want to get you home 😞
There hasn’t been any change really from yesterday. The Drs have increased your morphine. On quite a lot now. I just hope that you actually can’t feel the pain. I am so sorry Olivia. You do not deserve any of this and I would do anything in my power for this not to have happened.
We got you baptised today by Father Brown. Figured it was the right thing to do. The nurse gave a us a wee cute dress to lie on top of you but you just kept kicking it off haha quite the character.
Everyone keeps commenting on how much you have grown. I just hope that you can keep growing now without your food. You will get weighed tonight so I’ll find out tomorrow.
Love you toots.
I knew it. I just knew it. It was far too good to be true.
We phoned NICU this morning to get an update on you after your incident last night. The nurse told us that they thought you had an infection again so they stopped your feeds (again) and put you on antibiotics. We were advised that the consultant wanted to speak to us when we came in to see you.
When we turned up at the hospital we found that you had gotten worse and had to be put back on the ventilator. The consultant has told us that you have taken a turn for the worst. It has been confirmed that you have NEC. You had a few more serious incidents overnight with your breathing so they had to keep an eye on you. The doctors took an X-ray of your tummy and said it was considerably worse than the last time you had a mild bowel infection. We have been told to prepare for any changes as it can happen very quickly. I have given consent for them to do what they need to do should the worst happen. If the antibiotics don’t work it would result in surgery which means you would need part or all of your intestines removed.
We came back to see you a few hours ago and you were having another blood transfusion (you looked better and seemed stable). Although you’re on a lot of morphine, you were still wriggling about. The consultant is relying on you to help him so keep it up!
I can’t explain properly how it felt standing there this morning getting told “it doesn’t look good”. As soon as he walked away I broke down. Sitting by your box with daddy crying my eyes out. I keep getting told that it will be okay but unless you are faced with this yourself, you’ll never understand. Never. My baby girl. My first child. My everything, is fighting for her life and I can’t do a damn thing. I can barely feel myself breathing. ‘Empty’ is probably the right word. That’s how I feel – empty. My heart jumps into my mouth every time my phone rings incase it’s the hospital. It’s such a horrible feeling. The worst feeling.
Please keep fighting Olivia.
We love you.
Kims Blog 