Happy 100 days Olivia
I’m so upset
You failed your sleep study. The consultant said it was disappointing. As a result you’ve been put back on oxygen and will not be coming home without the oxygen.
I know it’s not a big deal and everyone keeps saying it’s fine, who cares. But I care. I care so much. I’m still trying to get over what happened in the first place. I don’t want to need to deal with you home on oxygen. I don’t want to need to deal with all your medications and remember what times and what days you need certain drugs. I’m not trying to sound sorry for myself.. I just wanted something to go right. I just want my baby home with no problems. I’m so f*****g fed up of all of this. I wanted the perfect pregnancy and now all I am is scared.
100 days you’ve been alive and every minute spent in a hospital. I love you so much Olivia. All of these tears tonight are because I love you and I want YOU to have an easy life. I want you to just be okay.
I had such a different picture in my head for tonight. I pictured you passing your test and being so happy. Not to be sitting crying my eyes out again.